The Half-Mind Catalog's November/December 2007
Cool Hash Page of the Month Award goes to…
The Lisbon Hash House Harriers

(http://www.fluffyit.com/lh3/index.html)

Those of you with at least two brain cells to rub together will notice that I didn't select a cool hash page of the month for November. I would like to assure you that this had nothing to do with the quality of the available hash web sites. Instead, I am going to blame Christmas. Next year I will have to either start my Christmas shopping early or alienate my friends and family so that I don't have to buy gifts.

As hash web sites go Lisbon H3's, our December winner, is pretty flashy. (Coincidentally, it is also coded in Flash.) In addition, it stands as another example of a site that was developed by a harrier or harriette whose intelligence exceeds that of a toad. Lisbon is lucky to have such an individual as a member of their club. I know of many kennels (my own included) which lack such representation.

What I like… To begin with, the home page with the blue On On foot is very realistic and true to life. It reminds me of the exact colour my own feet were only last week after hashing in the cold and snow in Toronto – except that I think I was missing a toe or two thanks to frostbite.

And speaking of toes, this is where the navigational buttons for the Lisbon H3 site have been cleverly placed. Just click on one of the toes – and the foot moves up the screen and fades leaving only the toes to help you navigate. Very cool.

When looking through this site, I couldn't help but notice that they specifically mention that dogs get to hash for free. At first I thought this was a little unfair and selective. After all, lots of men I know are dogs too. But then I visited the photos page of the Lisbon H3 site and saw the first photo showing a red dress run. And I have to admit – that little bitch in the centre is pretty cute and I think I'd probably let her hash for free too.

Another thing that amused me about this site is that the start location for their runs is always “in the semi-circular car park behind the Casino Estoril”. Why there? The curiosity is killing me. Is this the best place to convince off-shift waitresses to join the hash? Is the parking free? Do they run circles in the Casino to take advantage of the free drinks? Do they fundraise by playing craps with their hash cash?

I will have to visit them someday to find out…

On On ...
H2Ho

The Half-Mind Catalog's October 2007
Cool Hash Page of the Month Award goes to…
Bicester H3

(http://www.cix.co.uk/~bicesterh3/

A few weeks ago, some silly twat from the UK e-mailed me about his web site and suggested that it might be a good choice for the Half-Mind Cool Hash Page of the Month. At first I ignored him because everyone knows that “Cool Britannia” hasn't produced anything cool since the industrial revolution - with the possible exception of Douglas Adams, marmite and roundabouts. I also make a habit of deleting anything I receive from the UK since I'm still confused about the difference between a “wanker” and a “tosser” even though a bus full of hashers tried to explain it to me once during Nash Hash.

However Prof (the poofter who emailed me) was so insistent in his email that I decided to visit his site. And it didn't turn out to be that bad…

According to the information posted on the Bicester H3 site “this website is best viewed through the bottom of your beer glass.” Wanting to test this theory, I poured myself a tall one and started reading the site. Based on my experience, I would recommend that you view the website through the bottom of an EMPTY beer glass.

In his email, Prof also told me that his site is the colour of beer. Now I don't know what Prof has been ordering at his favorite watering hole, but the British beer I've sampled has never been that shade. In fact the colour of Prof's website far more closely resembles a byproduct of beer – namely urine.

Bicester H3's site also functions as a hasher IQ test (which I failed miserably). There are two ways to navigate this site from the home page. The first one is obvious. However the second one is somewhat more hidden and if you can find it in under an hour – then congratulations, you're smarter than the average half-mind. To take this test yourself, stop reading this write-up now, go to the Bicester H3 page, and find the two different navigation tools located on the home page. OK – go!

Back now? Those of you who passed the test will have found that those tiny little dots on the left hand side of the page actually turn into links when you mouse over them. If you didn't figure this out in an hour, don't feel bad – it took me three days. Which leads me to wonder if I'm even smart enough to hash with Bicester H3…

On On ...
H2Ho

[The Burlington Hash House Harrier site was awarded the Cool Hash Page of the Month award back in December 2001. I'm sure this site has changed significantly over the last few years and I think it's time for a re-visit.]

There's lots of stuff I like about this site. First of all, I like the design because it has plenty of white space. I like white space because that means I'm far more likely to find the information that I originally came to the site to find rather than end up being distracted by an intricate background, an overload of information, or butterflies (see Cool Hash Page of the Month for July 2007). Simply put, it's pretty and it looks like someone with both a brain and taste designed it. (Brains and taste are a combination that is found in less that 1% of the global hash population – and that should be treasured and taken advantage of as often as possible.)

The Hash Charter page contains some fascinating information that I believe may be unique to The Burlington Hash House Harriers and that causes me to believe that this may be the smartest, most organized and most accomplished kennel on the face of the earth. First of all, under the heading “Mismanagement”, there is the following statement: The Hash is to be run effectively but cooperatively. Que? Try incompetently and moronically – at least where I come from. And under “Hash Rules”:No whining. Hmmm. We have at least one harriette in my hash who would never be allowed to run again if such a rule was enforced.

And don't even get me started about the trail guide. Talk about detail. Where I come from, if a trail guide existed, it would probably read: (1) buy beer; (2) buy flour; (3) throw flour in random places; (4) put beer somewhere; (5) don't screw it up; (6) bonus points if you trick people into running up hill for no reason and they get angry and yell at you. The Burlington H3's trail guide, o n the other hand, contains phrases such as “ you are taking on a responsibility ”, “ ability to lay good trail ”, and “ trail layout and hash logistics ”. I am getting stressed out by the overwhelming sense of responsibility already.

However I think my favorite statement in the trail guide is the following: There's no excuse for a messed up trail that has been laid dead-hare. Thank you to The Burlington Hash House Harriers for helping me to realize that the last seven years of my life have been a complete waste of time - that there's absolutely no excuse for it.

On On ...
H2Ho

[This month's write up is being posted somewhat belatedly because I had too much fun at Eurohash and it took me a few weeks to recover. Thanks again to the mismanagement for a great event!] 

Those who know me well know that I have the attention span of a gnat. As with everything in life, this comes with upsides and downsides. One significant benefit of this condition is that it doesn't take much to amuse me. And the Canberra Harriettes page amuses me for a variety of reasons.

First of all there are the butterflies that follow your cursor as it moves around the page. I've heard harriettes described in many ways – however delicate and graceful (words commonly associated with butterflies) aren't one of them. And yet the Canberra Harriettes' site is full of butterflies. Not only do they follow your cursor around the page, but butterfly images can be found all over this web site. And almost all of these butterflies are very, very pretty. In fact, the only butterfly that isn't all that pretty can be found on the Canberra Harriettes' official logo. Contrary to the delicate and graceful appearance of the other butterflies on the site, this one looks inebriated, unkempt, and clumsy. Finally! A butterfly I can identify with! (Perhaps it's not a butterfly at all. Perhaps this is what a barfly looks like...)

Another thing that caught my eye was the Canberra Harriettes slogan: “Jog a little, jiggle a lot.” Now while all of the Canberra Harriettes may all be well enough endowed to “jiggle a lot”, I fall into the category of harriettes who are not so fortunate. Consequently, I would probably “jog a little, jiggle even less”. Does this disqualify me from running with the Canberra Harriettes

The more astute male observer will have no doubt noticed the “enter us here” click-through link on the home page of this site. (Those naughty butterflies!) Yet another reason why you should hash with these bimbos if you're ever visiting Canberra.

On On ...
H2Ho

The Apia Hash House Harriers kennel was founded 25 years ago and is located in Samoa. And while this kennel has certainly been around for quite some time, their web site reflects a contemporary design through their use of the blog format. In this hhhlog, I especially like the custom maps. I love the detailed landmarks and the fact that intersections with stoplights are marked. Either someone has too much time on their hands or most of the people who hash with this kennel are severely directionally challenged. Whatever the case, I wish my Hash would make it this idiot proof to find the start location of our runs. Because like most Hash bimbos, I’m not that smart. And I can use all the help I can get…

On On ...
H2Ho