First, I want your readers to consider two attributes that should always be required for a BM - loyalty and business sense. I don't think anyone in a hash can possibly be more loyal with a business sense than a good BM. The hash has a variety of no-sense-whining-wanker-wannabe-in-charge assholes who have neither the appreciation for what a good HashCash (HC) and BM do for the hash. Nor do they have any idea of what they will do if they decided the business of a hash - except to blow it all on a frat party. Some of these deadbeat hashers show up late just to skip paying their part.
Second, when I was a BM, I worked very closely with the HC to build up cash reserves. The HC was most persistent to make deadbeat hashers pay their way and I made sure I got quality beverages and snacks at the best price. Together, in two years we more than quadrupled our cash reserves. When some newcomers wanted to blow it all on a frat party, we put some controls in effect. Face it, we didn't want all of that blown on unconditional foolishness (shit! I'm sounding like Gary Bauer!) and have to rebuild the fund by raising the price, buying Old Milwaukee Best and Cragmont Cola and run out of everything at the down-down.
Third, a good BM is the only 'leader' within the hash who genuinely tries to keep everyone happy. It came with some personal costs too. I frequently gave the hash six hours a week sourcing quality refreshments and keeping leftovers stored properly so everyone is satisfied with enough quantities and varieties of their desired beverages and snacks - not to even mention the time spent at the hash and personal resources spent to make it happen. This is what brought so many people back - knowing that they can count on a lot for their three bucks.
Lastly, I enjoyed BierMeistering - it's a lot of fun being THE MAN every week. But I was under-appreciated by many and got worn out listening to petty complaints and hares botching up the planning. Most of those whining hashers hashed less than two years, had no clue about what it's like to run out of beer, drink from moldy cans that sat in a drained moist cooler all week, warm beer, old beer, gnats in the snacks, and garden hose drinking water - NO EXAGGERATION! Before I began BierMeistering, the hares were the BierMeisters and took care of buying everything. BierMeistering was the toughest thing for hares to attend to and I think I was once the biggest complainer about how incompetent the hares were about BierMeistering. On good hashes it was great, if you only liked to drink warm Busch Beer and Albertson Cola. That's why I became the full-time BierMeister. It was a 'labor of love' where there is no return except for being the only hasher that got a pre-hash beer and a post-hash beer when I inventoried the goods.
But, being the father of five kids (of course I asked for all of them) I can see that they are losing me and I am losing them. One cold soda on Saturday evening while I cleaned the coolers and took inventory wasn't enough to make up missing a daughter's 4-H event. I had to paint my house. I wanted to build model rockets with my son and take kids on hikes. At every hash a straw was thrown on my back over something. The last couple months I BierMeistered, these straws began to feel more and more like haystacks on my back and I could no longer enjoy BierMeistering.
If your hash has a BierMeister, keep him or her as happy as you can. They are more valuable than you realize.
- Meat Gazer, jHavelina HHH (Tucson, Arizona)
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