Sure there are rules, they are an absolute necessity. Maybe some groups have less than others, but that is up to the whims of the pack. We create these in order to keep things fun, and to preclude things happening that we don't like to see. I love the idea of the traditional, minimal-rules hashing, and am about to start something like that here. I'm waiting to see what next year's committee looks like, so if you hear or "The Revolutionary Hash House Harriers" doing run #1. . . .
Some of the things that I would go out of my way to "rule out" are:
2. Naming hashers because it's their fifth run.
By all means, we need to make a point of bestowing a moniker on the new guys at a fairly early point, but let's not name someone just because it is time. Giving someone a name also gives them a sense of belonging, so the onus is upon us (the pack) to come up with something good, or at least topical. Giving someone a name based on his occupation is (in nine out of ten cases) unimaginative at best, and downright stupid most of the time. Coming up with a stupid name because the pack can't arrive at a decent one comes under the same heading . . . wait till next week if you can't find something creative.
3. Every name including Shit, Piss, Cunt, Fuck, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, or Tits.
Go ahead and throw gay or homosexual references in that list also. There are times where using vulgarity in hash names is topical and proper, but not everyone has to be named "Fucknose." Enough said.
4. "When one GM drinks . . ."
Ditto any other group, no matter how you slice them. Hares, visitors, virgins, etc. This typically degrades to the point where there 87 people in the circle, and nobody can remember what the first guy came in for.
5. Dealing with visitors and virgins as a group.
Today's virgin is tomorrow's GM. Your reputation in the hashing world relies on how you treat your visitors. Let's take the time to recognize these two very important groups and treat them with a little dignity and respect.
6. Dragging some poor schmuck into the circle for 19 down-downs.
Look, if I want to get shit-faced at the hash, I have no problem achieving my goals. Some folks have to drive. Some have places to be afterwards. There are even a few out there who prefer sobriety on a regular basis. The bottom line is, we don't need to see the same one in the circle over and over. If your RA isn't creative enough to keep the circle going, then end it and move on to sport drinking. Limit individual down-downs to two or three max.
7. Non-participants.
I know that not everyone can run a six-minute mile, and that at times you aren't feeling well, or just don't feel like doing trail, but week after week of driving to the end doesn't cut it. As a very general rule, everyone should do the damned trail. Someone has to drive the beer truck, etc. but that should be something that is passed around week to week. Ditto signing up to be the hare. If you haven't hared your fair share, feel free to go hash somewhere else. It's not terribly difficult, even if you pre-lay the whole thing.
- Gopher, Ft Eustis HHH, Virginia, USA
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