In a recent rant, Flying Booger extolled the virtues of running a good circle and its effect on your hash. Almost as important, and many times overlooked, is training hares how to set a trail. Whether you have a pack full of marathon runners, or average wankers out for a good time, it seems that most hashers share generally the same ideas about what constitutes a "shitty trail" versus a trail that was just plain shitty. Sure, some kennels enjoy long pavement-pounders, while others prefer shorter Trails across the countryside. Agana H3 in Guam hashes through jungle terrain that most Corpus Christi hashers wouldn't even consider flying over in a plane! Yet Hares in both locations have the same challenge: balance the desire for interesting and challenging Trail with the need to keep the Pack enthusiastic and coming back for more.
This challenge is especially difficult at our Hash, where we have more "restrictions" than most kennels. We meet on Wednesday nights, which is right in the middle of the work week. We meet around 6PM, which means that many of our Trails end up in the dark. Our trails cross downtown Corpus Christi, which is full of busy streets. Because it is downtown, it is tempting to simply lay Trail from one block to the next. Placing beer stops is limited to a few bars which open early or finding a dark corner to leave a cooler full of cans where the hobos won't steal it. On top of which, the CCPD Headquarters is mere blocks from both the On-Start and the On-In. By sacred tradition, we ALWAYS start at the Selena Memorial in the middle of downtown Corpus Christi (it is centrally located and easy to find) and have religion at Dr. Rockit's Blues Bar; our official hash bar. Since we cannot change these traditions, our hares have a quite a challenge when they set a trail.
I have put together some guidelines for the BALH3 which attempt to assist our hares in finding that balance. While the specifics may not apply to your pack, the basic ideas behind these guidelines should transfer easily and help ensure that your hares survive to hash another day!
Keep it Simple! When planning your trail, figure out the true trail first and then decide where to put intersections and other beer stops.
Keep it Interesting! Most hounds do not want to run long, straight trails. Set numerous ontersections, check backs, and other diversions on your trail.
Keep it Interesting (Part 2)! Even though we always start at Selena and wind up at Dr. Rockit's, try to find new routes and new places for beer stops. You don't have to stick to the roads. There are plenty of fields, woods, parking garages, and industrial areas in the downtown area. You may even consider ending trail somewhere other than Dr. Rockit's.just make sure you have adequate chariots (and sober drivers) at the On-In to get everyone back to the bar.
Keep it Interesting (Part 3)! If you liked last week's trail, don't copy it this week! Wait a few weeks, and then try to incorporate the cool parts into an entirely new trail.
Keep the Pack Together! Intersections, beer stops, and check backs all force the front running bastards to slow down, allowing the slower hounds to catch up. Being part of the pack is much more fun than running alone!
Do Not Run Trail Back Across Itself! Crossing trail can lead to the hounds either getting lost or missing whole stretches of your trail because they turned the wrong way. Crossing trail tends to confuse and anger all the hounds and can ruin an otherwise great trail.
Don't Hide Your Trail Markings! There is nothing worse than wandering around in the dark (or alone) because trail has disappeared. The goal is to find the true trail and the On-Home, not spend ten minutes searching for the next pile of flour. This, too, will make the hounds very angry.
Use Plenty of Trail Markings! As Chemo says: "When you think you've laid enough flour, lay twice as much!" Generally every 20-30 feet works. As a rule, you shouldn't run past more than two telephone poles without leaving a trail mark.
We Are a Drinking Club With a Running Problem! The pack expects to have beer stops on trail. If the only thing we wanted was to get some exercise, we could find more effective ways to get it!
We Are a Drinking Club With a Running Problem (Part 2)! But that doesn't mean that every run needs to be a pub crawl. One or two beer stops is plenty for most trails.
We Are a Drinking Club With a Running Problem (Part 3)! When setting beer stops, bear in mind the size of the pack. Ten hounds do not need (or really want) four pitchers waiting at one beer stop, a 24-pack at the next, followed by another five pitchers at the next beer stop! There is plenty of time (and nectar) for drinking at religion, so try to leave just enough that everyone gets some.we can always share if there is an extra hound or two!
Don't Screw the Pack! If your trail requires something special from the pack, let us know ahead of time! If there is a theme, a need for flashlights, a water hazard, or other special requirements; or if it is going to be a pub crawl, let us know a few days ahead of time so we can come prepared.
Save the Workout For the Gym! If you fancy yourself an average-to-good runner, you are probably a better runner than most of us! A quick jaunt for you can easily turn into a death march for the pack. Try to keep your trail down to a few miles, and designed so that even a walker can finish in an hour. Generally, your trail is well set when the DFL enjoyed it as much as everyone else. If you feel you need more exercise, then go to the gym or try jogging to the hash instead of driving your car.
Be Ready For Hares-Away on Time! You may have to wait a few minutes for the hounds to get organized, but the pack should never have to wait on the hares! Make sure you bring flour, chalk and everything else you'll need on trail. Don't forget, hares should bring enough chalk to hand out to hounds who want it!
Remember Hashers Only Have Half a Mind! If a hound has to use more than that to decipher a trail or a vlue, then he WILL get it wrong. When you think you have a really clever idea you want to use, try explaining it to a five-year-old first and see if he can figure it out.
Take these simple guidelines and see how they apply to your own pack. Realize that the rest of your kennel may have different expectations and athletic abilities than you do. Try to ensure that your trails have a little something for everyone, and are not just your idea of the "perfect trail." I hope this helps!
- Guamarhea Balls, Corpus Christi Bay Area Larrikins HHH, Texas USA
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