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Sing a Song

Music hath charm to sooth the savage beast. And what better beast to sooth than a tired and thirsty hasher? Yeah, I admit it. I can be a beast at times, as big a beast as any hasher, whether it is the green-eyed monster born of jealousy or the envious monster brought on by seeing everyone else make it to the beer near before me.

And at the end of the trail there is music to sooth all hashing beasts. Sure, some of the lyrics are harsh enough to send you to eternal damnation and others are so bastardized that one can barely recognize the original tune from which it was born. Yet they are all cherished by hashers throughout the world. What you choose to sing is up to you, your pack, and the Religious Advisor or Songmaster.

And these songs were born from every walk of life; spiritual, ethnic, lullabies, nursery rhymes, scouting, and even rock and roll. While some of our songs come from rugby players and others originated with frat houses, many are of our own design. Whether to honor a special occasion, to poke fun at an institution, or to honor another hasher, many have grasped a stronghold in the hashing community.

While individual hashers like Mu-Sick, or even several members of certain HHH groups like Music City can actually carry a tune, many hashers are lucky if they can even follow a melody. This is pretty much left to fate. If you're lucky enough to have opera and rock singers in your group it's to your benefit. Otherwise you'll join the rest of us in merely trying to get the lyrics right. It really doesn't matter because in time you'll find it's the beer that is important.

Yet each hash has its own traditions. Many have a member of mismanagement whose sole purpose is to provide the songs at the circle. Other hashes chant to those being down-downed to "sing us a song or show us your schlong," requiring the awardees to provide the next song. What's right for your hash is pack preference and is often dependent upon your fonding father's previous hash faith. After all without the fonding father your hash wouldn't exist.

Speaking of the Father, how many times have you heard irreverent songs and gasped? This is the one thing that can send a virgin hasher screaming like she just lost her cherry. I recall singing on the way to an on-out a newly penned hash song that was modified from the rugby song "Jesus Can't Play Rugby 'cause He Wears Illegal Cleats." Half of the hashers in the moving van were aghast and didn't sing a word.

And then there's the poor uninitiated virgin put on the spot by the overzealous Songmaster who subjects her to "I Put My Hand Upon Her Toe" or the ever popular "Allouette." Trust me, if the virgin lives through either of these with a smile on her face she'll be back to hash again.

Several other songs remain for testing virgin hashers for their ability to shrug off the bawdiness of the hash, two excellent examples being "Bestiality's Best" and "The S&M Man."

Whether you choose to subject virgins to songs directed at them or songs against modern day morals is up to your individual hash. Do you want members who can tolerate anything or are you simply looking for members? It's your decision to make.

p.s. Here's a new one for you:

Sing
Click here for melody: Sing (the Carpenters)
by Smoking Wiener

Sing, sing a song
Sing out bawdy
Sing out strong
Sing of good trails not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
The whole hash long
Don't worry that it's not
Clean enough for little ones
Ears to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Sing, sing a song
Let the circle sing along
Sing of sex there could be
Sing for you and for me.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
The whole hash long
Don't worry that it's not
Clean enough for little ones
Ears to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

So drink it down down down . . .

- Smoking Wiener, Rocket Shitty HHH, Huntsville, Alabama USA

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