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R*nning and Drinking, But No Sex Please

Why is it that hashes in general -- and North American hashes more specifically - embrace sexual reference, innuendo and suggestiveness as part of their core activity? Notice, I didn't write that they embrace sex itself. What the reality boils down to is big talk -- no action. I've come to the conclusion that what hashers really like is giving the impression that they are sexually free, involved, liberated, promiscuous and libidinous, when in truth they are a lot tamer than they want to let on.

The traditional double standards all apply: "whores" are fine for gratuitous titillation and fornication, but if it is to be called a relationship, only a "madonna" is appropriate. If a harriette "puts out," she is categorized as being tainted and accordingly is talked about disparagingly.

A hasher's weekend is somehow incomplete if he doesn't "score." Because all the songs, goadings and social cues signal "GO FOR IT," some do – particularly the inebriated newcomers to the hash - only to find themselves the butt of derision and scorn from men and women alike. Harriettes who possess both lucidity and libido, and who enjoy mixing their sex with hashing and the associated partying, will often use alcohol as their "excuse" for their sexual adventures to avoid being categorized as being - perish the thought - premeditatedly sexual. "Hey, I was drunk!"

Couples who, well . . . couple are jeered rather than cheered. "Take it to your bedroom!" is heard far more often than "That’s what I'm talking about!" Ever notice the element of spectacle surrounding midnight nude hashes? Is the unclad body that new and unfamiliar? If integrating nudity, sex and sexuality into one's hashing is so welcomed, why does it happen so little during daylight hours? Hashers streak, moon and flash as if undergoing a fraternity rite of passage, yet squirm at the thought of promoting sex and nudity to the level of the matter-of-fact. The after-thought. The norm.

I would like to see people proudly, openly, and stridently own their sexuality, and announce to the world their pride and happiness at simultaneously embracing two of life's greatest pleasures - sex and hashing. I would like to see people who want to make openly sexual hashers feel out of place, or who endlessly yodel "tits out" or "dicks out" without adding anything of substance to the sex-hash continuum of the cosmos to either gain some sexuality or lose some juvenility. My vision is for a hash world where we do what we joke and sing about, without prurience or timidity, relishing it like we do a cold beer after a hot and dusty trail.

- Rambo, cHARLOTtesville HHH & Richmond HHH, Virginia USA; Aarhus HHH, Denmark

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