Comment on this rant? Do it: click HERE

Have you heard that term before?

Does it apply to you?

Well, if you're hashing inside the Washington, DC Beltway, chances are this term applies to your hash.

We have 11 or more hashes here in the DC area. You can hash every day except Fridays - unless a DC Full Moon Hash is on a Friday night. Then you can hash every day of the week and twice on Saturdays. If that ain't overachieving, then I don't know what the hell is!

Within our various hashes are lots and lots of overachievers. We have doctors. Well OK, if you're a doctor and you're hashing, chances are you're an eye doctor or an OBGYN. Super-overachieving doctors such as heart surgeons and neurosurgeons are too damn busy to hash. We also have lawyers. Again, not super-overachiever lawyers like Johnny Cockring. OK, he has opened up shop here in DC and even has a commercial on the boob-tube, so maybe we can get him to hash sometime soon. As you can imagine, we have lots and lots of contractors, federal government employees, lots of federal agents, spooks (they could tell you who they work for, but then they'd have to kill you), Secret Service men, and metropolitan policemen. Every one of them is an overachiever.

So who the hell cares?

Well, when all those overachievers get together to hash, doesn't it stand to reason that they are also going to bring hashing and sporting in general to overachieving levels?

Why yes, it does indeed.

We have hashers all over the place running, biking, and swimming their asses off in numerous Ironman events all over the United States. We have a gaggle full of ultra-marathon runners. These overachievers run 50k's, 100k's and 100 mile ultra-runs two or three times a year. These super-overachievers run marathons as "training runs." Mount Vernon H3's very own Cunning Runt ran only one marathon in her life (somewhere back in 1994 or '95) and qualified for the Olympic Trials! One damn marathon! (You go girl - I'd follow you off a cliff any day!)

Yes, I have run one ultra-run (50k) and three marathons. However, I gave up all that overachieving crap for Lent. My marathon times are 4:43, 4:58, and 5:24, respectively. My overachievements weren't getting a damn minute faster, so I decided to quit while I was behind.

Again, who gives a shit?

I do.

All of our hashes are now done in overachievement style. There is not one hash that you can go to where they don't run for well over an hour or you're not smashed off your ass drunk and can't get to work the next day. You're out on the hash run for so long that when you get in, you have no time to socialize. And isn't that half of what hashing is all about? Socializing? You get in and you have no idea who the hell all the new people are because you've been out running so long that when you get to the finish, you grab your hash bag and leave as soon as you can. Why just last month Watergate told me some new hasher walked up to her and said, "Who the hell are you?" When some new hasher doesn't even know you when you're someone who has been around the hash block a few times, then I say he's been out running so long he lost his damn mind. None of our hashes do anything in moderation anymore - it's all about overachieving. Hell, even our area's newest hash - So Happy It's Tuesday H3 - went overboard on super-achievement. They recently celebrated their first-year anniversary with an AGM hash and a party afterwards. The problem was that everyone who ran was too damn tired to party. The hash run was 16 miles long and most everyone was out for nearly four hours! On a hash run! Now that's what I call overachieving!

The super-overachiever hashing up here has gotten way out of hand. Maybe I'll just move down south and start hashing with Ft. Eustis and Tidewater. They hash in moderation. Most of their hashers are over the hill (just like me), so their hashes have got to be about moderation. I'd like to have a good 30 to 40 minute hash and drink until I feel happy, but I'm too damn old to drink until I puke. Hell, I might even start hashing with the Ft. Lee Hash of one day and make it a hash of two!

So I say, to hell with the overachieving!

Give me a real hash group that likes to run and likes to drink but that isn't into overachieving. If you know of one, I'd be happy to relocate.

On On to moderation!
Dual Airbags
GM, Mount Vernon HHH/Over-The-Hump HHH/DC Red Dress HHH