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What goes on at the hash.

How many times have we heard that?
How many times have we said that?

Realistically, that's not too far off the mark either.  When you think about it, we do a lot of things (for the most part, innocent enough.when you have all the pieces of the puzzle.) that would cause your Sunday school teacher to faint. So, with that in mind, "what goes on at the hash" is probably best left there. 

Having said that, there are naturally, two sides to every coin, and we'd like to examine the flip side for a moment.  Does "what goes on at the hash" alleviate us of our responsibilities as "mature adults"?  Can we do whatever "seems like fun at the time" with impunity?  And, does "what goes on at the hash" really stay at the hash?

We share a unique code of behavior: bawdy, loud, and boisterous. But there are limits; limits based on a live-and-let-live philosophy.  Unfortunately, we often forget that those limits apply not only to us, but those mere mortals (read: non-hashers) who may be in observance.  They don't necessarily understand "what goes on at the hash" and they may or may not share our live-and-let-live philosophy.

 "What goes on at the hash" often results in some poor schmuck doing repeated down-downs.  At one time or another most of us have seen the same person in the circle for a litany of "offenses".  At the time it's all good sport (it's like picking on the kid with funny clothing at school), and our victim is a willing participant. But what happens to him (her) after the 6^th or 7^th down-down?  Do they have a ride home?  Are they going to work, visit the mother-in-law?  Certainly, nobody is forced to drink excessively, and they could easily drink something non-alcoholic, but all too often that's not the end result.

 "Tits out for the boys" is another gesture where someone is pressured to do what they may not wish.  Granted, this one is often ignored, but how many harriettes wind up flashing uncomfortably?  And how is that received by their significant other?  And what if he's not there?  Should "what goes on at the hash" keep him blissfully in the dark about the "public" display of his wife's (girlfriend's) private parts?  We can argue that those things are their business, and she is under no obligation to give us a peek, but when the entire pack is chanting for it, cheering those who do oblige, and booing those who chose otherwise, some are sure to find it difficult to say no.

And on those occasions, when our clothing does find that it has been separated from our bodies, and the Ladies Auxiliary from the local church happens to be passing by. Well, you get the drift.  Suddenly, "what goes on at the hash" is in conflict with "live-and-let-live" in that we have infringed on their desire (nay, right) to NOT see our naughty bits.  Offending the sensibilities of the reverent is no different than insisting that we do Kool-Aid down-downs and accompanying them with Barney songs (I don't know about you, but I find that show insufferable.).

Our more risqué behavior (I'm sure I don't need to go into details here) probably bears even closer scrutiny.  Again, when examined fully, it's intent is purely shock value and not intended to bring any real discredit upon either the participants (victims) or the hash. The question begs though, how those on the outside perceive our actions.  Those not familiar with the hash would have to assume that we are nothing short of a drunken mob of hedonists and THEIR interests would be best served by whisking away THEIR women and children to a safe haven.  They don't understand "what goes on at the hash."  Should we take the time to explain our every action to our non-hashing spectators?  I know of one hash that does circle in the same bar every week, and the local clientele make a point of showing up every Tuesday for the pure entertainment value.  Of course, by this time, they understand what is happening and they (sort of) understand "what goes on at the hash."  I also believe that this particular instance is the exception rather than the rule.  Most times though, "out of sight and out of mind" is our best choice.

So what happens when our behavior draws the (unwanted) attention of the more genteel members of society?  Typically the least that happens is we get kicked out of the bar (and how much does that suck, being told to leave just when things are getting fun?).  Often times, it gets much worse and we find ourselves on the front page of the local rag with a "less than flattering" description of our antics.  The fallout from this can be dramatic.  Does your boss know you are a hasher?  What did he think when he read the article?  How about your wife (husband)?  No amount of explanation is going to erase the preponderance of "evidence" that you were intimately involved (and we all know that everything in print is true, don't we?).  Perceptions are, in fact, reality.  "The (fill in your hash) was doing (fill in the blank) and you are a hasher, therefore you were doing (fill in the blank.)  Few of us afford to have our professional reputations tarnished by the (publicly visible) actions of a few in the circle.  Not all of us have understanding spouses who see these things as good, clean fun.  Isaac Newton told us that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and we should bear that in mind when we are in public view.  It cannot be overstated that "mismanagement bears the onus of ensuring our behavior is consistent with our environment".

And what happens when we do let things get out of control?  What about the hasher who gets a DUI on his way home?  Did we contribute to that?  Did we try to prevent it?  We are responsible for our actions, and if we find ourselves in that unfortunate situation, we should at least be mature enough to accept the consequences.  Nothing pisses me off more than to hear that someone got arrested and it's the hash's fault.  Similarly, nothing turns my screws quite like hearing that someone's marriage was ruined because of the hash.  Nobody is going to argue that the quality of our decisions drops when we've been drinking, but don't tell me that you were so drunk that you didn't know it was WRONG to drive / cheat / trash the hotel room / piss on the cop car / moon the girl scout troop, etc. 

Life is about choices.  Sometimes we make good choices, and then there are those that we live to regret.  Let's not blame the hash. But as hashers, we must look out for each other.  If someone is about to select one of those "live to regret" options, let's at least TRY to convince them otherwise.  In any case, if we fail to exercise some restraint, let's at least accept personal responsibility for our actions.

On On!
Gopher
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