Half-Mind Rant

<tap, tap, tap>  Anyone out there??

A month or so ago I attended a hash weekend that consisted more of catching up and drinking beer than slogging through ball buster trails.  Attendees ranged from the very young (ages in the single digits) to well, ages much farther from single digits than we care to admit.  I came away with a thought germinating about aging and car stereos.

So, what did I do about it?  I told Gopher to write a rant.  And he did.  And there was much rejoicing.  And then we... read July's rant... for hours and hours...

Enjoy!

Watergate

 

Am I Just Getting Old?

I’ve discovered recently that I’m not a young man anymore.  Not that I’m that old, and there should be a few miles left on my hash shoes, but all too often, my body reminds me that I’m no longer in my twenties.  For example: 

Loading more than 12 kegs in my truck either requires assistance or 1200mg of Motrin before I go to bed later that night.

Or:

I find myself looking forward to trails that I know are going to be less than 5 miles.

Now, I don’t necessarily find this disconcerting as we are all subject to the effects of time.  There is the old adage:  “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is purely an option.”  And it is the second part of that adage that has me wondering.

Again, no cause for alarm.  I have no intention of growing up, but as time proceeds, I find myself displaying traits of an old fart.  I find myself increasingly intolerant of cretins at retail counters, don’t even talk to me about the drive-up window.  I haven’t had a speeding ticket in years probably due to the fact that I tend to drive down the road at speeds much closer to the posted limit.  (I do make sure the turn signal is off…)  And when my Platinum Medallion status doesn’t get me the complimentary upgrade to First Class, let’s just say that my travel starts off on the wrong foot.

So what does all this have to do with hashing?

I can usually enlist the assistance of a young, fit hasher when I need to load 18 or 20 kegs of beer, and short cutting long trails has seemed to work.  When I hare, I’ve found that I can still (live) lay an interesting and challenging trail (without the need for pre-staged oxygen bottles along the way) and (usually) not get snared, so while I’m not as young as I used to be, I’m probably not ready for the Old Hasher’s Home just yet.

Back to the flip side of the coin.  There’ve been several rants posted concerning our behavior in public places, what’s appropriate and what’s not, but what about our behavior when we’re out of eyesight and earshot?  Specifically, camping weekends when there are no non-hashers present? 

Heavy drinking, bawdy songs, occasional nudity and general pre-adolescent behavior are our hallmarks, and I would never want to see any of it changed.  After all, I never want to grow up!  Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, I’ve found myself acting like Oscar The Grouch when, at 0600, I’m awakened to the sound of some drunk screaming (at the top of his lungs) “If I’m up, everybody’s up!” or even worse, poorly played bagpipes.  (There is nothing in this world as lovely as the sound of a good piper, but at the same time, there is nothing quite so reprehensible as the sound of a bad piper either…) I love music, and while I usually prefer to have the sound level below the threshold of pain, I can always move to an area where the volume is comfortable.  Boom boxes and car stereos blaring the same song (at high volume) continuously throughout the weekend can annoy me.  I’ve been stupid enough to erect my tent near the “party area” once or twice (and have always seen the error of my ways and subsequently moved…) but shouldn’t the quiet “back corners” of the campground be left alone for the small minority who actually enjoy sleeping at night?  And recently, I was witness to a group of drunks throwing a zip-loc bag of their own feces at each other.  (If they want to cover themselves with it, that’s one thing, but the odds of hitting a nearby hasher are good enough that I see this as over-the-line.)

I probably shouldn’t mention it, but we seem to have gotten past the thievery of other’s property (hashits, hash flags, etc.) and I wonder if some of these things will, in time pass.  Or am I just getting old?

On-On! 

Gopher

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